1. Decide that you want to have a big salad for dinner. One with sliced ham, turkey, cheddar, and diced eggs.
2. Put two eggs in a small pot. Cover eggs with cold water.
3. Put pot with eggs and water on stove top and turn on burner to medium.
4. Listen to your two boys argue back and forth.
5. Yell at boys to knock it off.
6. Help youngest child to clean up his room because the mess he made is so big he “just can’t do it all by himself.”
7. Tell oldest to stop messing with the cat.
8. Watch youngest and oldest use giant teddy bears to beat the crap out of each other.
9. Tell oldest to take it easy, he is going to hurt his little brother.
10. See mail truck through the window. Run outside to get the mail.
11. Move out of way when youngest runs after you and launches himself right at you.
12. Help youngest up off the ground and dry his tears with your shirt.
13. Once back in the kitchen listen to oldest explain why it would be a good idea for him to have five of his friends sleep over at the same time. Gently explain that in no way will that be happening any time soon.
14. Help youngest to sweep up the cat food after he spills a whole cup of kibble all over the floor.
15. Try to open and look at mail.
16. Break up fight between boys because they are fighting over the remote control for the tv.
17. Grab remote, put on a show they will both like, and then accidentally get sucked into watching the show with them.
18. Stand up and wonder what that loud POP sound was.
19. Look around room trying to figure out what just broke.
20. Smell aroma of burning eggs and run to take them off the stove.
21. Throw burning eggs into sink and run cold water on them.
22. Realize that eggs are completely inedible.
23. Start back at Step 2 but this time send kids to the family room to play video games and stay there!