Tired Mommy Survival Trick: How to Fake Clean Hair

How to Fake Clean Hair

Let’s face it, once you become a mom, your personal grooming takes a hit. I remember when I had my first baby I could not for the life of me figure out when I was supposed to take a shower.

If I am supposed to sleep when the baby slept, then I couldn’t take a shower. But then once the baby woke up it was feeding, diapering, burping, etc., so I still wasn’t showering. I finally figured out to put the baby in the bouncy and take a shower with the baby in the bathroom. Of course my mommy fatigued brain took a week or so to come to up with that idea. I was becoming rather ripe if I do say so myself.

Then comes baby two, and your job, and the housework, and after school activities. I have learned to take a 120 second shower once the boys are in bed for the night since I don’t have time in the morning. But my hair is another story. Because my hair is fine I can’t wash it daily, it breaks and falls out. So I only have to wash it twice a week. How hard can that be? Hahaha, oh excuse me.

Anyway, my hair is good for three days, but by day four it gets flat. By day five it pretty much looks like crap. So how does a working mommy go to work when her hair looks like a matted down birds nest? Through trial and error I have honestly figured this one out.

Because I can’t afford Botox I grew myself some bangs years ago. The first step to faking clean hair really is to wash out JUST your bangs. This requires a rain drop sized amount of shampoo and then hunch over the sink and in 15 seconds wet, suds, and rinse your bangs. Be very careful NOT to get the rest of your hair wet. Squeeze out the water with your fingers and then use a round brush and your dryer to blow them out so they are dry, clean and fluffy. This whole process is done in under a minute, seriously.

IMG_0880Since your bangs are front and center on your face it’s the first thing people see, and you can’t fake clean hair with greasy, stringy bangs.

Next I love TRESemme Fresh Start Dry Shampoo for Oily/Straight to Normal Hair. I am allergic to most perfumes but the fragrance of this one is subtle and fresh smelling. Shake the can a few times and then separate hair into big chunks and spray the dry shampoo right on the root area. A quick sprits here and there will do. Then use your fingers and gently massage scalp and hair and work it through.

IMG_0882

To finish my fake “blowout” I love to use my 1 ½ inch curling iron. I lift the top half of my hair up on to the top of my head and secure it with a clip. Then I curl the bottom layer under in four big chunks for about 5 second each.

Under Curls

 

Next I drop the sides and in two big rolls of the curling iron and five seconds each they are now straight and curled under at the ends.

Side Curls

 

 

All that’s left is the crown of my head which then gets rolled into three big chunks going away from my face.

 

Crown Curl 1Crown Curls 2Crown Curls 3

That comes to nine curls in all each about 5 seconds. Run a brush through it all and you are ready to go!

Done
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You Might Be a Working Mommy if…

You Might Be a Working Mommy if...

 

I’ve always been a fan of Jeff Foxworthy and his line of “You Might be a Redneck if,” jokes. Well, I’m not a redneck, though I am descended from a whole bunch of them, but I am a mommy. So I thought I would come up with my own line of “You Might Be” one liners. Enjoy!

Oh boy

  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have poop under your fingernails and it is NOT your poop but you were in such a hurry to leave the house on time that you never noticed until you got to work.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you scream at your children every morning to “move it.” (Put your shoes on! Brush your teeth! Come on, we have to go or mommy is going to get stuck in rush hour traffic!)
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you make sure the kids are all dressed, have back packs, and necessary items, only to get to work and realize that your own lunch is still sitting on the kitchen counter.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you constantly want to bash your head against your desk each time your child brings home another flyer announcing the class performance of (insert title here) which will be performed at 10:00 am.Little Pilgrim
  • You might be a tired working mommy if every Monday you hand over a check that is approximately 45% of your weekly income to a daycare center, school prime time care, or other child care service.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you break down into tears when the annual Muffins with Moms note comes home from school.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you wake up earlier than the Amish so you can have a few minutes to put on your make-up, fix your hair, and have a cup of something caffeinated in peace and quiet before you have to wrestle your little ones into their clothes.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you send a child to school even when they feel a little sick because you don’t have back up daycare on a moments notice.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you’ve had to suddenly run out of the office to go pick up a child that just barfed at school.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you only go to dentists and pediatricians that offer services after 5:00 or on Saturdays.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have ever gone to work with snot on your clothes or spit up in your hair. (I have suffered both…multiple times)
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you drive 90+ miles an hour to get to work on time and then drive just as fast going home because you have to be at the corner to meet the school bus at 3:56 pm.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you scream at your kids in the evening to quiet down because you have work you need to do for tomorrow and you need to concentrate.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you need caffeine in the morning, and at noon, and at five in the evening to get through your day.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have a load of laundry going in the machine by 6:00 am and the dishwasher turned on by 6:05 am.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you get home from work and freak out because you forgot to thaw the item you were planning on cooking for dinner that night.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you can only find time to squeeze in a couple of showers a week M-F because it is too hard between t-ball practices, piano practices, catechism, and Cub Scout meetings.

Fair Ball3 bottles

  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have run a dry razor blade over your arm pits…more than once, in a time crunch because you wanted to wear a sleeveless blouse to work.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you carry 5 Hour Energy in your purse at all times.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you come home from work mumbling incoherently and the children know to run to their rooms and hide.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if sleeping past 6:00 am seems like a luxury.

wake up mom

  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have the local pizza delivery place on speed dial and they already know what you are going to order when you call.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you constantly are about to do something but are pulled in so many directions at once that you are forever forgetting what it was you were about to do.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if being together at work means your house looks like a pit and if your house is perfect it means you are completely behind at work.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have ever broken down crying while standing at the stove making spaghetti. (Yes I did and still can’t explain why.)
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you sit down at 9:00 to watch something on TV and fall asleep on the couch in less than five minutes.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if your DVR is completely maxed out from all the shows you want to watch but have no time to watch.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you sometimes wished the feminists who fought for our right to work outside the home had just stayed in the kitchen and shut up. (I don’t really believe that, well, not too often, okay sometimes when I am so tired I can’t remember what day of the week it is.)
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have ever bundled up the kids, climbed into the car, and then forgotten why you just got in the car. This usually happens on the days I can’t remember what day of the week it is.

working moms

Feel free to add to my list. I’d add more, I am sure there are plenty more to add, but my brain is shutting down for the night.

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There Goes the Last Shreds of My Dignity

There Goes the Last Shreds of My Dignity

Well, good-bye.  It was nice knowing you while it lasted and I am very sorry you have to leave in such a rush.  Maybe one day you can come back and we can pretend this whole awful moment was just a bad dream.  Oh, no?  Well, that’s okay.  I understand.  Really I do. That was […]

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Pinterest: Successfully Telling Women Everywhere That Their Lives Suck

This looks beautiful but the amount of work it would take to set this up would ruin the simple pleasure of picnicking at the beach.

I have a love/hate relationship with Pinterest.  I first discovered Pinterest two years ago after having two back to back massive foot surgeries that left me in a wheelchair for almost four months. At the time Pinterest was a god send.  I whittled away days and days of captivity looking at and pinning glorious pictures […]

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One Year Down & Hopefully Many More to Go!!

1st-blog-anniversary

  I just wanted to say thank you to all my followers.  This little blog means the world to me as do your comments, e-mails and likes.  I look forward to entertaining you for many years to come God willing.

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When Play Date Snacks Go Wrong

When Play Date Snacks Go Wrong

On Thursday my youngest had a friend over for a play date.  Let’s call him Jack.  Jack has been to our house many times and is a sweet little kid.  He usually comes over, asks for pretzels and juice, and spends several hours entertaining my child and keeping him out of my hair, because let’s […]

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When Mom is Temporarily Broken

When Mom is Temporarily Broken

I have often joked that if I were a horse I would have been shot or put out to pasture years ago.  Luckily for me I’m not a horse.  I have rheumatoid arthriti.  I have had it for 22 years in fact. I have been fortunate to have good health insurance and receive the best treatments available.  […]

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I Gave My Three Year Old Chocolate Laxatives…On Purpose

I Gave My Three Year Old Chocolate Laxatives

I was a little nervous to start potty training my first child.  Sure, changing diapers kind of sucked, but the truth was, they were convenient.  Plus, I was a girl and my child was a boy.  We had different “plumbing” and I wasn’t sure how to go about teaching my son to pee in the […]

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Husbands and Fathers are Not a Joke

Husbands and Fathers are Not a Joke

Long gone are the days of Jim Anderson from “Father Knows Best,” Ward Cleaver from “Leave it to Beaver,” and even Bill Huxtable from “The Cosby Show.” For the past twenty years or so the big father figures we’ve been given on television include Hal from “Malcomb in the Middle,” Alan Harper from “Two and […]

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Wake Up with One Tired Working Mommy

121a

Anyone who knows me knows I haven’t left the house without make up since the age of 13.  Seriously, except for my immediate family and my children, no one knows what I look like without make-up.  NO ONE! For years people have complimented my skin.  I’m not entirely sure why because truthfully it is pasty white […]

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