You Might Be a Working Mommy if…

You Might Be a Working Mommy if...

 

I’ve always been a fan of Jeff Foxworthy and his line of “You Might be a Redneck if,” jokes. Well, I’m not a redneck, though I am descended from a whole bunch of them, but I am a mommy. So I thought I would come up with my own line of “You Might Be” one liners. Enjoy!

Oh boy

  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have poop under your fingernails and it is NOT your poop but you were in such a hurry to leave the house on time that you never noticed until you got to work.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you scream at your children every morning to “move it.” (Put your shoes on! Brush your teeth! Come on, we have to go or mommy is going to get stuck in rush hour traffic!)
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you make sure the kids are all dressed, have back packs, and necessary items, only to get to work and realize that your own lunch is still sitting on the kitchen counter.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you constantly want to bash your head against your desk each time your child brings home another flyer announcing the class performance of (insert title here) which will be performed at 10:00 am.Little Pilgrim
  • You might be a tired working mommy if every Monday you hand over a check that is approximately 45% of your weekly income to a daycare center, school prime time care, or other child care service.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you break down into tears when the annual Muffins with Moms note comes home from school.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you wake up earlier than the Amish so you can have a few minutes to put on your make-up, fix your hair, and have a cup of something caffeinated in peace and quiet before you have to wrestle your little ones into their clothes.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you send a child to school even when they feel a little sick because you don’t have back up daycare on a moments notice.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you’ve had to suddenly run out of the office to go pick up a child that just barfed at school.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you only go to dentists and pediatricians that offer services after 5:00 or on Saturdays.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have ever gone to work with snot on your clothes or spit up in your hair. (I have suffered both…multiple times)
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you drive 90+ miles an hour to get to work on time and then drive just as fast going home because you have to be at the corner to meet the school bus at 3:56 pm.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you scream at your kids in the evening to quiet down because you have work you need to do for tomorrow and you need to concentrate.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you need caffeine in the morning, and at noon, and at five in the evening to get through your day.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have a load of laundry going in the machine by 6:00 am and the dishwasher turned on by 6:05 am.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you get home from work and freak out because you forgot to thaw the item you were planning on cooking for dinner that night.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you can only find time to squeeze in a couple of showers a week M-F because it is too hard between t-ball practices, piano practices, catechism, and Cub Scout meetings.

Fair Ball3 bottles

  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have run a dry razor blade over your arm pits…more than once, in a time crunch because you wanted to wear a sleeveless blouse to work.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you carry 5 Hour Energy in your purse at all times.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you come home from work mumbling incoherently and the children know to run to their rooms and hide.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if sleeping past 6:00 am seems like a luxury.

wake up mom

  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have the local pizza delivery place on speed dial and they already know what you are going to order when you call.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you constantly are about to do something but are pulled in so many directions at once that you are forever forgetting what it was you were about to do.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if being together at work means your house looks like a pit and if your house is perfect it means you are completely behind at work.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have ever broken down crying while standing at the stove making spaghetti. (Yes I did and still can’t explain why.)
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you sit down at 9:00 to watch something on TV and fall asleep on the couch in less than five minutes.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if your DVR is completely maxed out from all the shows you want to watch but have no time to watch.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you sometimes wished the feminists who fought for our right to work outside the home had just stayed in the kitchen and shut up. (I don’t really believe that, well, not too often, okay sometimes when I am so tired I can’t remember what day of the week it is.)
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have ever bundled up the kids, climbed into the car, and then forgotten why you just got in the car. This usually happens on the days I can’t remember what day of the week it is.

working moms

Feel free to add to my list. I’d add more, I am sure there are plenty more to add, but my brain is shutting down for the night.

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