Crap I Don’t Want to Hear Anymore

Crap I Don't Want to Hear Anymore

I am sure none of this will come as a surprise to any mom out there, especially a working mom who spends all day at one job, just to walk in the door and start her “other” full time job.

So here is a list of all the crap I am sick to death of hearing said to me on a daily basis, an hourly basis, sometimes an every five second basis.

Mom…mom…Mom…MOM…MOM!!

Mom, AJ is stinking up the bathroom!

Mom, AJ clogged the toilet again!!

Mom, is dinner done yet?

Mom, what’s for dinner?

Yuck, do I have to eat that?

Honey, you need to cook healthier. (This one might just result in a loss of life or limb.)

Mom, do you know where my shoes are?

Mom…mom…Mom…MOM…MOM!!

Honey, did you move my __________ (Papers, glasses, keys, flash drive, briefcase, etc.) For the record it is ALWAYS where ever the heck he left it.

Mom, can I have a snack? (This is usually said while the dinner dishes are still being cleared.)

Mom, can I have another snack?

I’m still hungry. Is there anything else?

Mom…mom…Mom…MOM…MOM!!

Do I have to take a bath tonight? (Why do teenage boys hate bathing?)

I need help with my homework.

That’s not how my teacher does it. (If you know how your teacher does it then why are you asking me? Plus, I am a teacher too!!!)

Honey, tomorrow can you call the ___________. (doctor, pediatrician, cable company, insurance company)

He took my toy!

My Lego broke, can you fix it?

I can’t find my Lego mini-figure. I think it fell behind my bed.

Mom, the piece fell off again!

He hit me!

Mom…mom…Mom…MOM…MOM!!

Mom, how much longer are you going to be in the bathroom?

Mom, did you hear me? How much longer are you going to be in there?

Mom…mom…Mom…MOM…MOM!!

Mom, are you drinking wine again? Didn’t you have a glass last night?

Honey, you drink more than I do.

Mom, why are you always so grumpy?

What phrase does your kid/s say (or your husband) that is literally driving you crazy? Let me know down below.
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Legos…Greatest Toy on Earth or Demonic Curse from Hell? You Decide!

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I have a love/hate relationship with Legos.  On the one hand, I love how they inspire my children’s imaginations.  My oldest is just starting to out grow them after years of playing, but my youngest can spend hours…HOURS…playing with his Legos.  He has them all; Batman, Avengers, Toy Story, Indiana Jones, Ninja Turtles, Pirates of the Caribbean, the Creator sets, and many more.

It’s actually pretty cute when he watches a DVD because he immediately pauses the movie and races to his room to pull out all of the matching Lego sets.  For example, when Toy Story 3 was his favorite movie we had to buy him all but the most expensive sets of the Toy Story Legos.  Then he would happily play with the Legos while the movie was on.  This continues to this day.  Just this morning AJ put in The Avengers DVD and by the time you could count to ten Casey had out his Thor, Ironman, Loki and Captain America mini-figures.

Another positive is that Lego is forever developing new sets and new themes, there is always more to be bought, which makes for easy birthday and Christmas ideas.

But, because Lego is forever making new sets and themes, that means your child is always begging for the next set.  You never reach a point where you can say, “That’s it, you now have them all.”  And, let’s not forget that Legos are super expensive.  Plus the people who market Legos are some real sneaky sons-of-bitches.

Let’s face it, bricks and cars and planes are fun, but what the kid really wants is a complete set of mini-figures, and the marketing team for Lego knows it!  So if your child is really into the Batman Legos, getting a Batman is a piece of cake.  He is in ALL of the different sets.  But if you child wants to get Penguin, Bane, Robin, or the Scarecrow, you better be ready to lay down the big bucks!  I am ashamed to admit that I have actually clicked on Ebay and laid down $11 to purchase the Croc mini-figure because his set had been discontinued and Casey had been begging for him for months.

Also, for obvious reasons, Legos are not durable.  Some of the smaller sets we actually crazy glued together so Casey wouldn’t be able to break them on a moments notice.  This strategy works for a while but eventually the crazy glue seal will break and the toy will be smashed.  There are few things less traumatizing to a four year old than a broken Lego Bat plane when you can’t find the direction book, or even worse, lose pieces and thus can no longer put it back together EXACTLY the way it was before.

Next, Legos are painful.  My husband and I have let fly a few expletives from stepped on Leogs.  Those things are engineered for the maximum infliction of pain!  They are so damn small that you don’t see them until it is too late and you are suddenly hopping on one foot cursing.

Then there is the fact that they get everywhere.  I have Legos in and under my sofas, under end tables, under pillows and mattresses, in every drawer in both boys’ rooms, under my bed, all over the family room, and even on the fireplace hearth.  Apparently the stones that make up the hearth are the perfect height for playing with Legos.

I have come to the conclusion that Legos are self replicating, kind of like the Tribbles on the original Star Trek series.  Sure, the little fur balls were cute and adorable at first, but then they started taking over the entire ship until Captain Kirk finally said they had to go!  I’m not ready to toss the Legos just yet, but very soon we may be reaching a tipping point!

So tell me, Legos, love or hate them??

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You Know You Are Raising Boys When…

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You talk about a penis, or crackers, or nuts, or peanuts, or peckers at least once a day, sometimes twice.

You know what Pokemon, Yugi-o, Bakugan, Beyblades, and Skylanders are, AND can identify the main characters for each group.

You know where all the pink aisles are in a store and how to avoid them.

You are outside walking and pick up a stick and take it home because it will made a perfect plaything for your son.

 You have Legos in every room of the house, not because you want them there but because Legos manage to get in every nook and cranny imaginable.

 Your child hands you a slimy frog to hold for them while they run to the bathroom and you actually do it.

 You accept the fact that the boys’ bathroom will always smell like an outhouse no matter how often and thoroughly you clean it.

 You park your car in the driveway because there is so much sports equipment inside the garage there is no room to put a car in it.

 You don’t even bat an eye when you see your son and two other boys hop in a wagon at the top of a hill and roll down it uncontrollably.

 You have to tell your children to stop burping in each other’s face.

 You buy first aid supplies in bulk.

The doctor’s at the emergency room recognize you when you take your kid in to have yet another injury treated;  broken nose, stitches in the head, sprained wrist, etc.

 You walk into the yard and don’t even question why there is suddenly a three foot deep hole in the middle of the yard.

 You empty the pockets of a dirty pair of pants and pull out a dead worm.DSC00276

You hear clinking noises in the dryer and can pretty much identify if it is a Lego, a rock, or a metal Beyblade by the loudness of the clinking.

You tell your children to stop smelling each other’s butts during a farting contest.

You have no less that ten Nerf guns in the family room and darts behind the chairs, sofas, refrigerator and the TV.

 You have seen every super heroes movie ever made…some of them at least a dozen times. (Avengers, Spiderman 2 with Doc Oc, and X-men 2)

DCIM100SPORTYou have long winded conversations about who would win if Wolverine and Thor were to fight each other and if Wolverine’s claws are strong enough to cut through Thor’s hammer, or if Superman is stronger than the Hulk.

 Every time you are driving someone in the backseat of the car announces loudly that you just passed a Mustang GT, or a Corvette, or a Camaro, as well as the engine make, color, and whether it is a convertible or not.  Then the two boys in the backseat start arguing over who gets to lay claim to the car even though it obviously belongs to someone else.

 The deck is covered in piles of pinecones, acorns, rocks, sticks, and pine needles and you have been told multiple times not to touch it.

 You go grocery shopping on Sunday and by Wednesday all the food is gone except for the vegetables and the meat in the freezer.

Can you think of any more that I missed?  Feel free to add them below.

~Tina

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