Why I Won’t Reinvent Myself in 2015

Why I Won't Reinvent Myself in 2015

As I was tidying up this morning I picked up a magazine and the big title was Reinvent Yourself in 2015.  Yesterday as I scrolled through Facebook and several of my favorite websites I saw blog after blog sharing their resolutions for the things they want to change for the New Year.

I admit I had toyed with the idea of putting out a blog myself on this very topic, yet I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to do it.  Then today it hit me, and I mean it really hit me as I tossed that magazine into the recycling bin.

The reason I couldn’t find the desire to write my list of how I was going to be a new me in 2015 is because there was nothing wrong with the 2014 version of me.  In fact, I have spent many decades of living, screwing up, making poor choices, making right choices, and learning from my mistakes to become the self confident, wine loving, foul mouthed smartass that I am today.  And you know what?  I like me.  I like me just fine!

I wasn’t always a confident smartass bitch.  Oh no, once upon a time I was a timid little mouse who cared way too much what other people thought about me.  I wanted to please everybody.  I wanted to be everyone’s friend.  I trusted everyone to be a good friend in return and got burned more times than I can count.  Don’t even ask me about high school! I spent most of my 20’s and a small part of my 30’s feeling worthless.

It took a failed marriage to an abusive guy to teach me that I don’t have to take abuse from anyone…ever!

It took me getting stabbed in the back and betrayed for me to learn to recognize a real friend.

It took me putting my foot in my mouth repeatedly to learn that I didn’t have to voice out loud ALL the thoughts in my head.  (It’s better to save those thoughts and share them with a glass of wine with those real friends I mentioned.)

It was by needing help that I learned it was okay to ask for help.

Could I stand to lose a few pounds?  Sure, but I am much more interested in being healthy and having more energy to keep up with my boys than being skinny.  My hubby loves me just the way I am, curves and all.

Even if I do lose some weight my stomach will always be a mess.  It is covered in stretch marks that resemble the painted flames on a Harley Davison.  For the record I earned my stretch marks, every last one of them.  They are a reminder of the infertility that I struggled with for two years to conceive my first child.  They are a reminder of the miracles that can happen when you finally let it go and put it in the hands of a higher power.

Does this mean that this is it?  Am I done growing and changing as a woman?  Not at all.  Hopefully I have another four or more decades ahead of me to continue this journey called life.  With more mistakes comes more knowledge.  With more living come more opportunities for happiness and even sadness, but it only by knowing sadness that we can truly appreciate the happy.

So if I can share one message with you this 2015, it’s that you are already perfect.  You don’t need a list to make yourself a better self.  You will have that happen to you quite naturally with the passage of time.  Love your curves, wrinkles and stretch marks for the badges of honor that they are, proof of a life lived, challenges faced and met, smiles formed.

If you chose to go on a diet this January, do it because you want to be healthy, not because you want to fit in a different pair of jeans.  If you do make a resolution make it to carve out more time for yourself.  Make a resolution not to carry guilt over the past or worry what others think about you.  Tell the negative people in your life to get lost.  Make a resolution to cut yourself a little slack and smile more.

Have a happy, safe, & healthy New Year!


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