When Daddy Fills In For Mommy

When Daddy Fills In For Mommy

On Election Day my boys didn’t have school, but as a teacher I still had to go in for a Professional Development day.  Since I had just used sick days for household and car purposes my husband offered to take the day off of work and take care of the boys.

I have learned from past experiences that when three males are left at home all day that the house will be a mess when I arrive.  Since I know what to expect I am not that shocked when I walk in and there is stuff everywhere.

What I do find funny are the comments my honey says to me.  Before I get a lot of people calling me out for husband bashing I would just like to say that a.) I am not bashing my husband.  I actually love the guy a lot and I know I am very blessed that he is such a hands on guy, and b.) he is actually pretty capable of running the house when I’m not around.  I think all ladies would agree with me, however, that guys and girls look at things a bit differently.

Example #1

What he said:  I washed a couple of loads of laundry for you.

What this means for me:  There are now three laundry baskets of clean clothes sitting in the living room.  The clothes are clean, but since they have been sitting wadded up for several hours they are now hopelessly wrinkled and I will probably just rewash them as opposed to trying to iron all of that.

Example #2

What he said:  I fed the boys lunch today.

What this means for me:  The kitchen has been ransacked because he couldn’t find what he was looking for. Half of the kitchen contents are now in the wrong place, the sink is full of dishes, and the table is covered in crumbs.

Example #3

What he said:  I took care of dinner.

What this means for me:  He picked up a rotisserie chicken at Costco.  Now all I have to do is make a couple of side dishes, reheat the chicken and serve dinner.

Example #4

What he said:  I went on line and paid the bills.

What this means for me:  I now have to defend why $68 spent at Sephora was a necessary expenditure as well as my subscription to Boxy Charms and Popsugar.  For some crazy reason he disagrees.

Do you and your hubby have different opinions on how things should get done?  Share below!

If you enjoyed reading my blog please click the link below and vote for me. Just a click automatically gives a vote!
Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

Advertisements

A Lovely List

A Lovely List

As many of you who follow me know, the last two weeks have been rough. Not just a little rough, but the kind of rough that saps your energy, works you half to death and leaves you collapsed on your bed completely exhausted.  Between car problems, flea problems, child care problems, as well as starting a college course in addition to working, blogging, helping to launch a book, and being a mom, my heart was heavy and my body worn out.

Saturday we officially were rid of the flea problem after bombing the house for hopefully the last time. Once again I washed load after load of laundry and vacuumed.  I wanted to be happy the fleas were gone but honestly I was so exhausted I couldn’t look on the bright side.

Bella Grace Vol 1aBy that evening I was finally able to sit down and catch my breath. In the process of cleaning the entire house from top to bottom, I stumbled upon a wonderful magazine I had purchased about four months earlier called Bella Grace.  I had found it while browsing the magazine rack at Meijer.  I almost didn’t buy it because it was $19.99.  It seemed an insane amount of money to spend on a magazine but it was filled with so many uplifting and inspiring photos and stories that I couldn’t resist.

I spent hours reading and rereading that issue of Bella Grace during the summer and now it was in my hands once more almost as if fate had intervened. If ever I needed to be uplifted and inspired it was now.  I flipped through the beautiful photographs and stories until I came to one called The Lovely List.

I read the comments different women had listed as things they thought were lovely. It was in that instant that I knew I needed to pick up a pencil and start a list of my own.  I needed to remind myself that even in the most trying times there is still something lovely in every day.  Here is my version of a Lovely List, a reminder that in the darkness there is happiness, light and love (even if sometimes it is hard to find.)

  • My husband, there through the good and the bad
  • My boys laughing
  • A soft scarf
  • Pajamas
  • Leopard print accessories
  • Socks-colorful, funky, and fuzzy
  • A trip to the farmer’s market
  • Fog, thick as pea soup on a misty morning drive
  • Thunder that rolls on and on
  • Pretty paper
  • Colorful ink pens
  • Homemade chicken soup
  • Autumn in all its glorious splendor
  • The sound of dry leaves blowing across the lawn
  • The smell of baking cookies
  • Strawberries dipped in sugar
  • A blanket fresh out of the dryer
  • Clean sheets
  • Music that matches my mood
  • Photographs
  • Snail mail
  • Lipstick
  • Lying in a hammock under our oak tree reading
  • Yellow roses and star gazer lilies
  • Homemade popcorn made on the stove top
  • A warm fire
  • A glass of Riesling after a long day
  • The sound a new book makes when you break the spine for the first time
  • Apple cider and pumpkin spice donuts
  • Sunshine after the storm
  • Snow days
  • Picking raspberries and eating them fresh off the bush
  • Fleece
  • Sitting and watching the waves roll in and out
  • My friends (Suzie, Julie, Elizabeth, Missy, and Kathy life would be awful without you)
  • A scented candle
  • A scary movie
  • Feeding the squirrels and chipmunks
  • Lazy Sunday mornings
  • Teacups
  • White raspberry tea
  • Hugs
  • Pink, peach and sunshine yellow
  • Book stores
  • Fresh bread
  • Sweater weather
  • A giant pot of beef stew
  • The excitement I feel when I write something I am really proud of
  • Bonfires
  • The excitement I feel when someone comments on my writing

I hope this post inspires other to create a list of their own.  Everyone needs to have a Lovely List to look at when times are tough.

If you enjoyed reading my blog please click the link below and vote for me. Just a click automatically gives a vote!
Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

When Mom Gets a Day Off

When Mom Gets a Day Off

“Have a great day off,” my husband says as he walks out the door, and he truly means it. After all, I have the day off work thanks to a Muslim holiday in my school district and my children are still going to school in the district in which we live. In his mind I have a fantastic day ahead of me.

Even though I had the day off I still got up at 5:00 am so I would have a chance to have a little time to myself to get ready before the boys got up.

Once I was dressed and had my make-up on I made homemade pancakes and sausages for the boys as a treat for breakfast. After breakfast I cleaned the kitchen, gave AJ a quick kiss good-bye as he headed to the bus stop, and then tossed in some laundry while Casey watched a cartoon.

After I dropped Casey off at school I drove straight to Meijer’s to stock up on some staples, then went to Costco for some of our favorite organic items and more necessities.

Back home I carried it all in and cleaned out the pantry and fridge as I put it all away. I swapped out the laundry in the machines and emptied the dishwasher before heading back out to hit the post office, return library books, and grab AJ’s prescription refill. While at Rite Aid I figured it was a perfect chance to grab my flu shot and my pneumonia shot.

This time when I return home I made a phone call to Comcast. They over billed us. I hate calling Comcast. No, I loathe calling Comcast. I think I would rather have a root canal. After an hour of being on hold and finally talking to someone only slightly more functional than Lloyd from Dumb & Dumber, I managed to get the bill fixed.

A quick look at the clock and it is time to head to the collision shop. My car got hit by another driver two weeks earlier at my son’s little league game and today was the first opportunity we had to get an appointment and take the car in for an estimate. I grabbed a stack of papers that I still need to grade and headed off to the shop. While I wait in the tiny lobby for my estimate I graded papers. Luckily the shop was having a slow day and it only took about thirty minutes for my estimate.

I had really hoped to squeeze in a manicure today, I haven’t had on in well over a month and cuticles are disgusting but there is no time. I hurry home to start dinner because now it is almost time for the boys to arrive from school and Casey has to eat quickly because he has Catechism tonight.

No sooner do I finish dinner the boys walked in. Bill arrived home about twenty minutes later and said, “Wow, you are so lucky to get a day off. I’d love a day to stay home by myself and relax.”

So how relaxing was your last day off?

Kid Battles I Refuse to Fight

Kid Battles I Refuse to Fight

There have always been battles between parents and their kids. Sometimes as parents it seems we spend entire days, weeks, and even years battling with our kids.  Just wait for those ‘tween years if you don’t believe me.  We battle to get them to do what we want, keep them safe, and most importantly not send us running to the nearest loony bin!

Because we love our kids and we do want them to be healthy and safe we keep fighting the good fight even though we know it means suffering the wrath of hormonally charged, prepubescent, crazy people.

I’m not going to apologize for making homework mandatory, even if the teacher doesn’t grade it. No, my kid can not have a can of Coke with dinner.  They will greet grandparents and other relatives AND give hugs upon arrival and leaving.  They will do their chores if they expect to get an allowance and no, they cannot spend their allowance on junk food in the school cafeteria.

All these non-negotiable rules don’t always make me Miss Popularity in my house but oh well.

Having said all that, I have learned that sometimes you really do have to pick and choose your battles or you will be fighting with your kids from sun up to sun down. So here are a few examples of where I have thrown in the towel.

Winter Clothes

What is it with boys and winter clothes? The temperature outside might be 25 degrees.  A blizzard could be swirling around with wind gusts of up to 50 miles per hour, and my teenager will stand there and insist that there is absolutely no reason why he can’t wear a pair of shorts and a hoodie to school.  I can’t tell you how many times we fought this one out with me yelling at him that he needed to wear his boots, coat, gloves, and you get the idea.  For crying out loud, we had four polar vortexes last year.  FOUR!  His reply was always the same, “It’s not that cold, mom.  I don’t need all that stuff and it doesn’t fit in my locker anyway.”

One day something in my brain finally snapped. “You want to freeze your ass off,” I yelled, “then go right ahead.” I bit my tongue and kept the word “dumbass” to myself since I know a mom really shouldn’t call her child (at least out loud) a dumbass. (It is perfectly allowable to think it several times a day, just don’t say it.)

So that day he went to school dressed for the beach, not a cold winter day. The next day he still wore a hoodie, but I did notice he put on pair of pants since the temp dropped down to about 22 degrees.  The miracle came on the third day.  He wore his coat to school, as well as his gloves!  It turned out that freezing his ass off for a couple of days was more effective than all my preaching.

Trumpet Practice

When my oldest first joined band I used to nag him day in and day out to practice his instrument. The teacher wanted 30 minutes of practice a day.  That didn’t sound too bad, until you realized that the English teacher wanted 30 minutes of reading each night, and the math teacher sent home about 20 minutes of homework a night. On top of that, every other night there was science or social studies homework, plus he had to memorize all of his Spanish vocabulary.

When you looked at his nightly work load it didn’t take me long to figure that if he was practicing the trumpet for 45 minutes a day in school, he would be just fine if he only practiced for a half hour or so on the weekends and skipped the thirty minutes every night. Each week I signed his band practice sheet without a single moment of guilt.

Cussing

I admit that I have a problem using sentence enhancers. A four letter word pops out of my mouth at least once a day, sometimes more often than that. (Hey, just be glad you can’t hear all the ones that roll through my mind all day long.) But, I tend to use the same words over and over.  Shit, crap, damn it, those really are my big bad words.  Okay, the occasional fuck is mumbled too.  Still, my teen was using a lot of cuss words and he was using them more often than I was.

I tried to keep him in check, even going so far as to censor my own mouth and cut out most of my cussing at home. He just kept letting them fly.

Then one day I was in the house while a group of five teenage boys were running around in the woods right behind my house. This moment was a revelation for me.  All five boys cussed NON-STOP.  Not only did they cuss, but that trash talked each other for over an hour.  I found myself blushing as I listened to them yell at each other and laugh hysterically.  I was never going to curb my kid’s potty mouth because I was hopelessly outnumbered.  So now the rule is no cussing in front of his baby brother.  Other than that, I give up.

So what battle of wills did you finally just said, “fuck it” too? I’d love to hear about it.
If you enjoyed reading my blog please click the link below and vote for me. Just a click automatically gives a vote!
Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

How to Boil an Egg With Children in the Room

How to Boil an Egg With Children in the Room

1.  Decide that you want to have a big salad for dinner.  One with sliced ham, turkey, cheddar, and diced eggs.

2.  Put two eggs in a small pot.  Cover eggs with cold water.

3.  Put pot with eggs and water on stove top and turn on burner to medium.

4.  Listen to your two boys argue back and forth.

5.  Yell at boys to knock it off.

6.  Help youngest child to clean up his room because the mess he made is so big he “just can’t do it all by himself.”

7.  Tell oldest to stop messing with the cat.

8.  Watch youngest and oldest use giant teddy bears to beat the crap out of each other.

9.  Tell oldest to take it easy, he is going to hurt his little brother.

10. See mail truck through the window.  Run outside to get the mail.

11.  Move out of way when youngest runs after you and launches himself right at you.

12.  Help youngest up off the ground and dry his tears with your shirt.

13.  Once back in the kitchen listen to oldest explain why it would be a good idea for him to have five of his friends sleep over at the same time.  Gently explain that in no way will that be happening any time soon.

14.  Help youngest to sweep up the cat food after he spills a whole cup of kibble all over the floor.

15.  Try to open and look at mail.

16.  Break up fight between boys because they are fighting over the remote control for the tv.

17.  Grab remote, put on a show they will both like, and then accidentally get sucked into watching the show with them.

18.  Stand up and wonder what that loud POP sound was.

19.  Look around room trying to figure out what just broke.

20.  Smell aroma of burning eggs and run to take them off the stove.

21.  Throw burning eggs into sink and run cold water on them.

22.  Realize that eggs are completely inedible.

23.  Start back at Step 2 but this time send kids to the family room to play video games and stay there!

Crap I Don’t Want to Hear Anymore

Crap I Don't Want to Hear Anymore

I am sure none of this will come as a surprise to any mom out there, especially a working mom who spends all day at one job, just to walk in the door and start her “other” full time job.

So here is a list of all the crap I am sick to death of hearing said to me on a daily basis, an hourly basis, sometimes an every five second basis.

Mom…mom…Mom…MOM…MOM!!

Mom, AJ is stinking up the bathroom!

Mom, AJ clogged the toilet again!!

Mom, is dinner done yet?

Mom, what’s for dinner?

Yuck, do I have to eat that?

Honey, you need to cook healthier. (This one might just result in a loss of life or limb.)

Mom, do you know where my shoes are?

Mom…mom…Mom…MOM…MOM!!

Honey, did you move my __________ (Papers, glasses, keys, flash drive, briefcase, etc.) For the record it is ALWAYS where ever the heck he left it.

Mom, can I have a snack? (This is usually said while the dinner dishes are still being cleared.)

Mom, can I have another snack?

I’m still hungry. Is there anything else?

Mom…mom…Mom…MOM…MOM!!

Do I have to take a bath tonight? (Why do teenage boys hate bathing?)

I need help with my homework.

That’s not how my teacher does it. (If you know how your teacher does it then why are you asking me? Plus, I am a teacher too!!!)

Honey, tomorrow can you call the ___________. (doctor, pediatrician, cable company, insurance company)

He took my toy!

My Lego broke, can you fix it?

I can’t find my Lego mini-figure. I think it fell behind my bed.

Mom, the piece fell off again!

He hit me!

Mom…mom…Mom…MOM…MOM!!

Mom, how much longer are you going to be in the bathroom?

Mom, did you hear me? How much longer are you going to be in there?

Mom…mom…Mom…MOM…MOM!!

Mom, are you drinking wine again? Didn’t you have a glass last night?

Honey, you drink more than I do.

Mom, why are you always so grumpy?

What phrase does your kid/s say (or your husband) that is literally driving you crazy? Let me know down below.
If you enjoyed reading my blog please click the link below and vote for me. Just a click automatically gives a vote!
Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

 

You Might be a Mom Blogger if…

You Might be a Mom Blogger if...

All Mom Bloggers share a lot of common traits.  Here are some ways to know when you have graduated from just getting started to full Mom Blogger status.

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if you have your iPhone camera on at all times because any second your child is going to do something cute, funny, or insane and you don’t want to miss the perfect photo op which will make the perfect post.  ~Oh look, my teenager just fell in the trash can!  Whoo hoo!

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if you tell your children to repeat what they just said so you can get the quote perfect when you put it on Twitter.  Oh, and of course your Twitter account is linked to your Facebook account so a tweet is instantly shared on your Facebook page.  ~Mom, dad just said I am well hung.  What does that mean?

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if your e-mail account is filled to bursting with e-mails from people you have never heard of and they all want you to review their page/product/website/etc. and they would be ever so grateful if you would write a review for them and then share it on your blog site.  ~Hi, I just invented a faster way to grow tomatoes.  I am sure your followers are just dying to hear about what I am selling.

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if you spend hours and hours scouring Google images, someecards, and other sites looking for the perfect jokes to share on your blog’s Facebook page.  ~Booyah!  I just found another “Keep Calm” joke to add to the 500 other ones I have already collected. 

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if your blog has a Twitter account, a Google+ account, a Facebook page, an Instagram account, a Bloglovin account, and a Pinterest account and you view checking in on these sites multiple times a day as work, not “surfing the web.” ~Honey, do you think you might be getting off the computer today.  I need my underwear washed and the children are hungry.

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if you think Pic Monkey is the greatest website ever.  Jelly on your child’s face, a huge zit on your teenager’s nose, click, click, click, and suddenly everything is picture perfect.  ~And the eye bright is a miracle worker at getting rid of the bloodshot in a tired mom’s eyes.

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if you carry a note book with you at all times to write down that idea that just popped into your head and you know you can turn it into a post somehow.  ~Target just started selling Barefoot wine in single serve bottles!!  Hell yes!!

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if your best ideas pop in your head just as you are about to fall asleep and suddenly you are up looking for a paper and pencil to jot down a few notes because you know you will never remember it in the morning.  ~Hold on honey, in a minute.  I just have to write this down!

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if you spend real money purchasing digital fonts and “boosting” your Facebook page.  ~$20 for five fonts, sounds good to me.  $5 to boost this original joke, why not. 

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if you are guilty of letting your children play video games for five hours on a beautiful summer day because you were on a roll and didn’t want to stop the literary process before it was truly done.  ~Mom, I am tired of playing my Wii, can I have my iPod.  Yeah, whatever.

 

  • Finally, you might be a Mom Blogger if your heart does a somersault when you see that someone actually left a comment on something you posted!  It does a second somersault when that comment is actually a positive one!  ~Whoo hoo!  A comment!!  Honey I just got a new comment!!  Why are you rolling your eyes at me?  This is important damn it!

If you enjoyed reading my blog please click the link below and vote for me. Just a click automatically gives a vote!
Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

‘Are Your Children Vaccinated?’ Is the New ‘Do You Have a Gun in the House?’

I believe in vaccinating my children. I teach in a district that has a high foreign born population where their access to vaccinations aren’t always guaranteed. Plus, travel and the speed of travel allows diseases to spread so quickly now that I felt it wasn’t even an option to not vaccinate. I never thought about the anti-vaxxers in this way before. It is a legitimate point and a question worth asking.

TIME

I try not to judge other parents. If you want your whole family to sleep together in one giant bed, it is none of my concern. If you feel like breastfeeding your kid until he’s in junior high school, go for it. If you don’t want to or can’t breastfeed, hey, formula is good too. To binky or not to binky? Maybe thatis the question in your house, but I am positive you will make the right decision. Either way, I could really care less. Most of your parenting choices don’t affect me or my children. Having a loaded weapon in your house does. It has the potential to do serious harm to, and possibly kill, my child. The same is true when you decide not to immunize your children against preventable infectious diseases.

My kids are five and two. They have gone through most of their early childhood…

View original post 884 more words

You Might Be a Working Mommy if…

You Might Be a Working Mommy if...

 

I’ve always been a fan of Jeff Foxworthy and his line of “You Might be a Redneck if,” jokes. Well, I’m not a redneck, though I am descended from a whole bunch of them, but I am a mommy. So I thought I would come up with my own line of “You Might Be” one liners. Enjoy!

Oh boy

  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have poop under your fingernails and it is NOT your poop but you were in such a hurry to leave the house on time that you never noticed until you got to work.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you scream at your children every morning to “move it.” (Put your shoes on! Brush your teeth! Come on, we have to go or mommy is going to get stuck in rush hour traffic!)
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you make sure the kids are all dressed, have back packs, and necessary items, only to get to work and realize that your own lunch is still sitting on the kitchen counter.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you constantly want to bash your head against your desk each time your child brings home another flyer announcing the class performance of (insert title here) which will be performed at 10:00 am.Little Pilgrim
  • You might be a tired working mommy if every Monday you hand over a check that is approximately 45% of your weekly income to a daycare center, school prime time care, or other child care service.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you break down into tears when the annual Muffins with Moms note comes home from school.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you wake up earlier than the Amish so you can have a few minutes to put on your make-up, fix your hair, and have a cup of something caffeinated in peace and quiet before you have to wrestle your little ones into their clothes.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you send a child to school even when they feel a little sick because you don’t have back up daycare on a moments notice.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you’ve had to suddenly run out of the office to go pick up a child that just barfed at school.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you only go to dentists and pediatricians that offer services after 5:00 or on Saturdays.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have ever gone to work with snot on your clothes or spit up in your hair. (I have suffered both…multiple times)
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you drive 90+ miles an hour to get to work on time and then drive just as fast going home because you have to be at the corner to meet the school bus at 3:56 pm.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you scream at your kids in the evening to quiet down because you have work you need to do for tomorrow and you need to concentrate.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you need caffeine in the morning, and at noon, and at five in the evening to get through your day.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have a load of laundry going in the machine by 6:00 am and the dishwasher turned on by 6:05 am.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you get home from work and freak out because you forgot to thaw the item you were planning on cooking for dinner that night.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you can only find time to squeeze in a couple of showers a week M-F because it is too hard between t-ball practices, piano practices, catechism, and Cub Scout meetings.

Fair Ball3 bottles

  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have run a dry razor blade over your arm pits…more than once, in a time crunch because you wanted to wear a sleeveless blouse to work.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you carry 5 Hour Energy in your purse at all times.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you come home from work mumbling incoherently and the children know to run to their rooms and hide.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if sleeping past 6:00 am seems like a luxury.

wake up mom

  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have the local pizza delivery place on speed dial and they already know what you are going to order when you call.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you constantly are about to do something but are pulled in so many directions at once that you are forever forgetting what it was you were about to do.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if being together at work means your house looks like a pit and if your house is perfect it means you are completely behind at work.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have ever broken down crying while standing at the stove making spaghetti. (Yes I did and still can’t explain why.)
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you sit down at 9:00 to watch something on TV and fall asleep on the couch in less than five minutes.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if your DVR is completely maxed out from all the shows you want to watch but have no time to watch.
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you sometimes wished the feminists who fought for our right to work outside the home had just stayed in the kitchen and shut up. (I don’t really believe that, well, not too often, okay sometimes when I am so tired I can’t remember what day of the week it is.)
  • You might be a tired working mommy if you have ever bundled up the kids, climbed into the car, and then forgotten why you just got in the car. This usually happens on the days I can’t remember what day of the week it is.

working moms

Feel free to add to my list. I’d add more, I am sure there are plenty more to add, but my brain is shutting down for the night.

If you enjoyed reading my blog please click the link below and vote for me. Just a click automatically gives a vote!
Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

 

There Goes the Last Shreds of My Dignity

There Goes the Last Shreds of My Dignity

Well, good-bye.  It was nice knowing you while it lasted and I am very sorry you have to leave in such a rush.  Maybe one day you can come back and we can pretend this whole awful moment was just a bad dream.  Oh, no?  Well, that’s okay.  I understand.  Really I do.

That was what was left of my dignity, flying out the proverbial window faster than a five year old chasing an ice cream truck.  My dignity and I had to sever all ties today and go our separate ways.

How, you may ask, did this happen?  Well, for starters, it’s all my boys’ fault.  Then again, maybe not all their fault.  Fine, I guess it really wasn’t their fault.  I know, it’s the cat’s fault!  She betrayed me!  Okay, okay so it wasn’t her fault, either.  I know who to blame…freaking winter.  Yes, this winter of discontent claimed another victory against me today.  If I were actually keeping score between winter and myself if would probably look something like this:  Winter-251, Me-0.  I am so over this winter!

Anyway, I digress.  Back to my now lost dignity.  It all started this morning with yet another snow day.  Like any tired mommy I did what we all do on a snow day.  I rolled over and went back to sleep!!  The timing was actually pretty good, I caught my six year old’s head cold and my sinuses and throat are super raw and irritated.

I woke up two hours later and happily the boys were both still sleeping.  Even the cat was quiet since Bill fed her before he left for work at 5:30 in the morning.

I decided to do something utterly wonderful.  Something truly luxurious!  I decided to take a shower.  Since when is a shower a luxury?  Talk to a few moms and you will find out pretty darn fast just how luxurious they are.  During the week a shower for me is done in the evening before bedtime and consists of approximately 2 minutes of running water followed by a quick pat down and tossing on some jammies so I can get back out there to start the boys’ bedtime rituals.  Sunday is the only day of the week that I get to have a proper morning shower and actually stay in there until all the hot water has been drained from the tank.

I left the bedroom door cracked open for the cat to come in.  She loves to come in when I take a shower.  Since she is the only other female in the house I consider it a little girl time bonding.  Besides, after I get out of the shower she likes to go in there and lick the walls dry with her sandpaper tongue.  I consider that a win since I don’t have to worry about mildew and mold build up on the bottom four inches of the shower.

I stepped into my bathroom and stripped down.  I turned on the shower to let the water warm up before I stepped in.  That was when I remembered that my new bottle of Honest Shampoo was on the bedroom dresser.  It had only made it as far as the bedroom in my hurried attempt to put it away.  Plus the cat was in the bedroom.  That was when it happened.  That was when my dignity left me in such a rush.

Without a second thought I opened the bathroom door and stepped out into my bedroom completely in the buff.  I managed to get three steps out before I looked up to see both boys sitting on my bed petting the cat.  I screamed, turned, ran back to the bathroom and slammed the door.  Praise the Lord, at least the 13 year old had his back to me!  The six year old on the other hand was sitting with his face in my direction, and while the oldest only got a good look at my cellulite covered backside, my sweet little boy got to see the Full Monty;  saggy boobs, stretch marked covered stomach, and all the rest.

As I stood in the bathroom trying figure out how I would get the money needed to pay for my children’s’ hefty therapy bills, I heard both boys bust out laughing in the bedroom.  I swear I think I even heard the damn cat laughing!  I yelled at them to go in the family room and play video games as I shrugged my shoulders and accepted the fact that my boys weren’t traumatized, perhaps just a little nuts and would survive this incident with their sanity in tacked, even if my own sanity was sometimes in question.

Please tell me this has happened to you! Somebody? Anybody?

If you enjoyed reading my blog please click the link below and vote for me. Just a click automatically gives a vote!
Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

%d bloggers like this: