Crap I Don’t Want to Hear Anymore

Crap I Don't Want to Hear Anymore

I am sure none of this will come as a surprise to any mom out there, especially a working mom who spends all day at one job, just to walk in the door and start her “other” full time job.

So here is a list of all the crap I am sick to death of hearing said to me on a daily basis, an hourly basis, sometimes an every five second basis.

Mom…mom…Mom…MOM…MOM!!

Mom, AJ is stinking up the bathroom!

Mom, AJ clogged the toilet again!!

Mom, is dinner done yet?

Mom, what’s for dinner?

Yuck, do I have to eat that?

Honey, you need to cook healthier. (This one might just result in a loss of life or limb.)

Mom, do you know where my shoes are?

Mom…mom…Mom…MOM…MOM!!

Honey, did you move my __________ (Papers, glasses, keys, flash drive, briefcase, etc.) For the record it is ALWAYS where ever the heck he left it.

Mom, can I have a snack? (This is usually said while the dinner dishes are still being cleared.)

Mom, can I have another snack?

I’m still hungry. Is there anything else?

Mom…mom…Mom…MOM…MOM!!

Do I have to take a bath tonight? (Why do teenage boys hate bathing?)

I need help with my homework.

That’s not how my teacher does it. (If you know how your teacher does it then why are you asking me? Plus, I am a teacher too!!!)

Honey, tomorrow can you call the ___________. (doctor, pediatrician, cable company, insurance company)

He took my toy!

My Lego broke, can you fix it?

I can’t find my Lego mini-figure. I think it fell behind my bed.

Mom, the piece fell off again!

He hit me!

Mom…mom…Mom…MOM…MOM!!

Mom, how much longer are you going to be in the bathroom?

Mom, did you hear me? How much longer are you going to be in there?

Mom…mom…Mom…MOM…MOM!!

Mom, are you drinking wine again? Didn’t you have a glass last night?

Honey, you drink more than I do.

Mom, why are you always so grumpy?

What phrase does your kid/s say (or your husband) that is literally driving you crazy? Let me know down below.
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Carving Out Mom Time: Pamper & Reconnect

Carving Out Mom Time

You haven’t had a real nights sleep in god knows when. There is currently a Cheerio in your hair and stains on your shirt. The children are making so much noise that you may very well lose your mind. It is at this moment you can’t remember why you had kids in the first place. You can’t remember the things you used to love to do B.C. (before children). Heck, you aren’t even sure what day it is or the last time you had a girl’s night.

This is the time to call in the big guns. If you are lucky enough to have two TV’s in the house then you need to stick the kids in front of one of them and walk away. If you are lucky enough to have On Demand then by all means spend $6 to make them sit down, be quiet, and leave you alone for approximately 105 minutes.

Now that you have a bit of alone time, do you even remember the things you liked to do, other than just be a mommy? How can you surround yourself with something that is pretty and feminine, and doesn’t come from a Disney Princess movie, or help you to forget the fact that you live in a house filled with boys, trucks, dinosaurs, and Legos.

Here are some simple suggestions to help you remember what it was like to be a woman, when you thought of girly things, not just your teenagers latest class project and your little ones next t-ball practice, or potty training the youngest.

Think Pink

pink nails2

Go in your room and shut the door, then pull out the cutest pink nail polish you have. Sure, black, navy blue, and pearlescent hunter green are very cool looking, but sometimes you just want to be girly and soft. A quick foot soak and then a pedicure with a Bubble Gum colored polish is just the trick.

Look at Some Pretty Pictures

I subscribe to a lot of magazines, but some I keep and never throw away. I have every issue of Victoria magazine ever published. When I crave enchantment, romantic rooms, magical destinations, and just pretty things in general, I pull out a stack of them and just browse away. The same is true for Tea Time. There is just something so civilized about seeing cute tea cups and tiny desserts. Often the world we live in is a rude, cold, and somewhat overwhelming. It is comforting to look at a simpler way, a slower way of seeing things.

Victoria Mother's Touch Victoria Bliss Tea Time Strawberry Issue

Invest in a Few Girlie Things

tea cup

I am not talking about breaking the bank. A quick trip to TJ Max will allow you to get a charming tea cup and saucer for about $4.99. If you really want to feel like a lady buy two and invite a friend over for a cup of tea, but be sure to stop at the bakery first and buy some cute little pastry to share to make it even more special. Or, while at TJ Max grab an adorable box of biscotti in fancy packaging. Sure, you talk to your friends all the time through the internet, but sometimes you just need face to face contact.

Another girlie thing to get is a cute journal. A place to take notes, write to do lists, and keep secrets if you want. Journals can be very expensive, but no one says it has to be a leather bound work of art. A pretty 5×7 spiral notebook will work just as well. Martha Stewart makes some cute ones at Staples.

pretty journal Small Notebooks

Now that winter is over and spring is coming run to the stores and shop the clearance racks and buy yourself a new robe, whether it is spa white, pink and fuzzy, or covered in flowers. Right now you can grab a $60 robe for about $15. I actually own four of them, a thick one for coming out of the shower, two long soft ones for winter, and a short one with elbow length sleeves for spring and cool summer nights. All were bought at different times but always on clearance, or at Kohl’s using Kohl’s Cash and a 30% off coupon.

super soft robe pretty robe

There is nothing more wonderful in the evening than stripping off the clothes you wore all day and wrapping up in something soft and comforting and girly. Plus, it will hide the hole in your nightie, or the wine you accidentally spilled on your boob!

Bumblebee LinensNext, buy something pretty that you will probably never use but you can say you have them. I recently bought from bumblebeelinens.com a set of six beautiful linen and lace handkerchiefs. Why? Because I have always wanted a set and I think they are so beautiful.

I remember my grandmother always had a pretty handkerchief in her “pocketbook” along with her tube of deep pink lipstick. It was just such a womanly thing to do. Will I ever blow my nose into these gorgeous works of art? Absolutely not! But every time I open my purse I will see a little something that will make me feel like a lady, not just a mom, and even have a happy memory of a great woman who helped to shape my younger days.

Take a Trip to the Library

I know many moms out there don’t have time to read anything longer than a magazine article these days, but summer will  come eventually, and hopefully once the school year winds down you will find yourself with a little more free time on your hands.

Complete Works of Jane Austen Little Women Wuthering Heights

Jane Austen is a must! I have read them all, several more than once. Persuasion, Northanger Abbey, Mansfield Park, and Pride and Prejudice are personal favorites and guaranteed to make you forget about swimming lessons, catechism classes, and the bake sale you promised to bake for even if just for a little while. If you finish those and find yourself still wanting more I recommend Wuthering Heights, Little Women, and Jane Eyre!

While at the Library Check Out a DVD

Sure, you’ve got Sex in the City, Bridesmaids, and even How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, but if you really want to feel like I lady I have a few other suggestions. You have probably seen them before, but they are so good why not watch them again.

Gone With the Wind

Gone With the Wind– Whether she was trying to steal another woman’s husband, or digging potatoes out of the ground, she always did it with her chin up and in a three ring hoop! Plus when the going got tough she knew a little nip of brandy could fix everything.

Pride and Prejudice 1995 (1)

Pride & Prejudice the A&E version– All I am going to say about this is…Colin Firth. If Colin Firth’s Mr. Darcy doesn’t make you weak at the knees then you might be beyond help.

Breakfast at Tiffany'sBreakfast at Tiffany’s– One of the ultimate chick flicks! Before there was Clueless, before there was Legally Blond, before there was a Mrs. Robinson, there was the original Holly Golightly. Even playing a loose woman with questionable morals Audrey Hepburn still did it with class and elegance, and one heck of a great pair of sunglasses.

So there you go. Have a night filled with tea, or champagne, with pink nails and romantic reads or movies to help you remember what you were like before you had baby spit up on your yoga pants and a small child’s finger up your nose.

Cheers ~ Tina
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You Might be a Mom Blogger if…

You Might be a Mom Blogger if...

All Mom Bloggers share a lot of common traits.  Here are some ways to know when you have graduated from just getting started to full Mom Blogger status.

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if you have your iPhone camera on at all times because any second your child is going to do something cute, funny, or insane and you don’t want to miss the perfect photo op which will make the perfect post.  ~Oh look, my teenager just fell in the trash can!  Whoo hoo!

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if you tell your children to repeat what they just said so you can get the quote perfect when you put it on Twitter.  Oh, and of course your Twitter account is linked to your Facebook account so a tweet is instantly shared on your Facebook page.  ~Mom, dad just said I am well hung.  What does that mean?

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if your e-mail account is filled to bursting with e-mails from people you have never heard of and they all want you to review their page/product/website/etc. and they would be ever so grateful if you would write a review for them and then share it on your blog site.  ~Hi, I just invented a faster way to grow tomatoes.  I am sure your followers are just dying to hear about what I am selling.

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if you spend hours and hours scouring Google images, someecards, and other sites looking for the perfect jokes to share on your blog’s Facebook page.  ~Booyah!  I just found another “Keep Calm” joke to add to the 500 other ones I have already collected. 

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if your blog has a Twitter account, a Google+ account, a Facebook page, an Instagram account, a Bloglovin account, and a Pinterest account and you view checking in on these sites multiple times a day as work, not “surfing the web.” ~Honey, do you think you might be getting off the computer today.  I need my underwear washed and the children are hungry.

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if you think Pic Monkey is the greatest website ever.  Jelly on your child’s face, a huge zit on your teenager’s nose, click, click, click, and suddenly everything is picture perfect.  ~And the eye bright is a miracle worker at getting rid of the bloodshot in a tired mom’s eyes.

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if you carry a note book with you at all times to write down that idea that just popped into your head and you know you can turn it into a post somehow.  ~Target just started selling Barefoot wine in single serve bottles!!  Hell yes!!

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if your best ideas pop in your head just as you are about to fall asleep and suddenly you are up looking for a paper and pencil to jot down a few notes because you know you will never remember it in the morning.  ~Hold on honey, in a minute.  I just have to write this down!

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if you spend real money purchasing digital fonts and “boosting” your Facebook page.  ~$20 for five fonts, sounds good to me.  $5 to boost this original joke, why not. 

 

  • You might be a Mom Blogger if you are guilty of letting your children play video games for five hours on a beautiful summer day because you were on a roll and didn’t want to stop the literary process before it was truly done.  ~Mom, I am tired of playing my Wii, can I have my iPod.  Yeah, whatever.

 

  • Finally, you might be a Mom Blogger if your heart does a somersault when you see that someone actually left a comment on something you posted!  It does a second somersault when that comment is actually a positive one!  ~Whoo hoo!  A comment!!  Honey I just got a new comment!!  Why are you rolling your eyes at me?  This is important damn it!

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‘Are Your Children Vaccinated?’ Is the New ‘Do You Have a Gun in the House?’

I believe in vaccinating my children. I teach in a district that has a high foreign born population where their access to vaccinations aren’t always guaranteed. Plus, travel and the speed of travel allows diseases to spread so quickly now that I felt it wasn’t even an option to not vaccinate. I never thought about the anti-vaxxers in this way before. It is a legitimate point and a question worth asking.

TIME

I try not to judge other parents. If you want your whole family to sleep together in one giant bed, it is none of my concern. If you feel like breastfeeding your kid until he’s in junior high school, go for it. If you don’t want to or can’t breastfeed, hey, formula is good too. To binky or not to binky? Maybe thatis the question in your house, but I am positive you will make the right decision. Either way, I could really care less. Most of your parenting choices don’t affect me or my children. Having a loaded weapon in your house does. It has the potential to do serious harm to, and possibly kill, my child. The same is true when you decide not to immunize your children against preventable infectious diseases.

My kids are five and two. They have gone through most of their early childhood…

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