Please Stop Putting Beaver Anal Gland Juice in my Food

 Beaver Pinterest

**WARNING**  THIS POST IS PROBABLY GOING TO GROSS YOU OUT AND MAKE YOU THROW AWAY MUCH OF THE FOOD CURRENTLY IN YOUR PANTRY.

Food gross22I am a very picky eater.  Always have been, always will be.  I am hypersensitive to the gross factor that is in a lot of foods.  I will eat onions that are minced and cooked into my food, but I will not eat onions raw.  I do not eat mushrooms.  Mushrooms are fungus; so is ring worm and green toenails.  Yes, I know they are not the same kind of fungus, but seriously, if it can grow on your toes I‘m not taking any chances.

I love cooking stuffed green peppers.  The flavor the peppers put in the meatballs is divine.  I will scoop out all the yummy meat and rice and then toss that soggy, spongy, green pepper in the trash.  When I eat onion rings, which isn’t every often, but when I do I always pull the slimy onion out of the crunchy ring and then just eat the breading.

My eating habits drive my husband crazy sometimes.  My husband comes from the old school thinking that if it is cooked and on your plate you must eat it.  He is trying to teach that lesson to the boys, but I am forever undermining him because the boys know I will not eat half the shit my husband will, period!

Castoreum_01

That being said, I do not think I am being overly picky when I say to the food manufacturers out there to PLEASE stop putting beaver anal gland secretions into my food!!  Seriously?  WTH?

Not to mention, who was the sick son of a bitch who realized that castoreum (the stuff that is manually squeezed out of a beaver’s ass) tastes like vanilla or raspberry.  I mean, really, how did that moment occur?

Beaver WTF“Hey Ernie, check out this beaver I caught.”

“Wow, Burt, that sure is a fine looking beaver.”

 “Ain’t she?  But watch what happens when I squeeze her ass!”

 “Burt, man, you are one sick s-o-b!  That’s disgusting!”

 “I know, but Ernie you just got to try this.  It tastes like vanilla!”

 “Really?  Wow, I got to have some of that!  Let’s take it home to my wife and have her make some vanilla pudding and cookies with this stuff!”

 “Yah, but check out this beaver here!  This one tastes like raspberries!”

 

What’s even worse is that beaver anal gland secretions are technically a natural product made naturally by beavers.  So the food companies don’t have to list on their ingredients what they are really using.  Oh no, they just call it Natural Flavors.  Yep, that’s right.  Natural Flavors.  Go in your pantry right now and start looking at the ingredients listed on you many packages of food.  Pay particular attention to anything that is a sweet good or snack food.

Practically everything you purchase at the market says it is flavored with natural ingredients.  I’m sorry but I find this TOTALLY unacceptable.  I really think that ingredient lists on packages should say exactly what is in a product, but food companies will NEVER agree to this.  Think about it, which ice cream would you buy?

“Milk, high fructose corn syrup, starch, beaver anal gland secretions.”

Or

“Milk, cane sugar, cream, vanilla bean extract.”

Duh, that one is kind of a no brainer!  Hold the beaver, please.  For more information on this subject feel free to check out the links below or do a Google search for beaver anal glands in food.  Just be warned, you may learn more than you ever wanted to.

http://www.foxnews.com/science/2013/10/02/beaver-butts-emit-goo-used-in-vanilla-flavored-foods/

11 Disgusting Ingredients You Eat Every Day That Food Companies Don’t Talk About

Beaver anal secretions a vanilla substitute in some foods

Your Vanilla Ice Cream May Actually Smell Like Beaver Butt

Is “Natural” Vanilla Flavoring Really From Beavers’ Anal Glands?

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