Warning Signs That You are Becoming a Sleep Deprived Mombie

Mombie Post

Everyone talks about how new parents are sleep deprived because of night time feedings, and that is true.  But just because the baby starts sleeping through the night doesn’t mean your sleep deprivation days are over.

indentify a Mombie

If you are a mom of multiple kids or a mom who is also working a full time job while raising kids and maintaining a home, sleep deprivation is going to be with you for the next several decades!

There will never be enough hours in the day so you stay up longer to get things done, wake up earlier to get a jump on the day, and spend nights tossing and turning because your brain keeps reminding you of all the stuff you forgot to do the day before.

bitten

Here is a list of warning signs that you are rapidly turning into a sleep deprived Mombie!

  1. Caffeine, caffeine, caffeine.  There is no such thing as enough or too much.  Whether is it Starbucks, Earl Grey, Coke, or Redbull, you have found a source that works for you and now consume so much of it that your blood type is now C positive.
  1. In the morning when your alarm clock goes off you experience the five stages of grief, all in under two minutes.
  1. In the car on the way to work you have the radio on full blast to help you avoid nodding off behind the wheel.
  1. When you pull into the parking lot at work you have no memory of actually driving there and wonder how the hell you made it.
  1. At work you realize that getting ready in the morning you put on two different colored socks and just shrug your shoulders.  At this point they should be glad you are even there.
  1. You forget to do the really important stuff, like look at you’re your day planner, your to do list, and the humongous calendar on the fridge that was to remind you that your kids have no school and you needed to arrange for day care.
  1. You lose things you were holding in your hands just five seconds ago.
  1. You are forever putting things in the wrong place; cell phone in the fridge, keys in the mail box, etc.
  1. The refrigerator is full of 5 Hour Energy.
  1. Your purse has several bottles of 5 Hour Energy.
  1. Your desk drawer has several bottles of 5 Hour Energy.
  1. You are moodier than a teenage drama queen who just found out that her BFF slept with her boyfriend.
  1. You no longer call your kids or coworkers by the right name anymore.  You know their name, its right on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t get it out. You finally settle on just saying, “Hey you.”
  1. All your clothes are getting tight because of the extra food you consume to over compensate for your lack of energy.
  1. You walk into a room and immediately forget why you went in there.
  1. Commercials and certain songs suddenly make you bust out into tears.
  1. While cooking dinner or folding laundry you feel so exhausted you start crying.
  1. You have stopped answering your phone because you are in no mood to deal with actual people.  If it is really important they can just text you.
  1. You are tempted to smother your husband with a pillow when he starts snoring in the middle of the night.
  1. You have memorized all the squeaky spots on the floor when you finally give up and go to sleep on the sofa so at least you won’t wake the children.
  1. Your every thought, fantasy, and day dream is about running away to a hotel for a couple of days just to sleep without interruption for as long as you  want.

If you or someone you know are suffering from five or more of these symptoms it is highly advised mass quantities of wine are drunken immediately and the sufferer be allowed to pass out for at least eight solid hours.  This recovery process may need to be repeated for several nights in a row.

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Comments

  1. Too funny, too true!

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