Will You Please Put Your $hit Away!!

To my husband, who I love dearly, just incase you didn’t know, we have now moved into a bigger house, and I organized the living hell out of it.  There is a hat rack in the mud room.  You walk past it every time you come in the house.  So will you PLEASE stop leaving your hats on the kitchen counter, the backs of the chairs and on the buffet table?

DCIM100SPORT

I do not want to look at smelly underwear when I am about to brush my teeth.

Also, there is a clothes hamper in the bathroom.  You see it every time you go in there.  So why is your dirty underwear on the bathroom sink every damn day?  Seriously!  Furthermore, when you peel off your stinky socks please do not deposit them in the living room floor and leave them there.

To my oldest son, if you pee, flush the toilet.  If you poop PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD FLUSH THE TOILET.  There is a toothbrush holder on the bathroom sink.  I bought it just for you, so you would stop leaving you foamy brush on the sink top and thus get blue foamy spit everywhere.  Yet you continue to put your toothbrush on the sink, two inches AWAY from the damn holder.  Knock it off!!!

DCIM100SPORT

Please take note of the laundry basket that is just inches away from dirty clothes on floor.

Also, there is a laundry basket in the floor of your closet for dirty clothes.  When you undress just wad it up in a ball and chuck it in the direction of your closet and I will be happy.  Stop stuffing them under the bed and inside the toy box.

Also, if you continue to leave food crumbs all over the house you will be banned from eating inside and will eat on the deck year round.  I am sick to death of sweeping the floor twice a day because you can’t eat over a table and get the food to your mouth without dropping half of it.

DCIM100SPORT

I love that Legos stimulate creativity, but I am sick and tired of cleaning them up.

To my youngest, if you keep leaving your Legos all over the floor don’t come crying to me when I vacuum the damn things up.  I am done picking up twenty teeny tiny little itty bitty pieces of plastic from the floor every time I need to vacuum, which is practically daily since I live with three slobs.

DCIM100SPORT

Come on!! The rack is right there!! I MEAN RIGHT THERE!!!!

To all three of the men in my life, WE BOUGHT A SHOE RACK!  I put the damn thing together myself and it is right next to the fucking door.  If I trip over one more shoe because you are too lazy to pick them up and put them on the rack that is right next to you so help me god I am going to pick up those shoes and pitch them right out the window!!  Then when you need them you can go outside barefoot to retrieve them.

Sincerely, the pissed off Type A, organized, neat freak who lives with the three of you and who is about to totally lose her shit!

DCIM100SPORT

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Comments

  1. I can soooo relate!

  2. Ha ha, my boyfriend does the same things! I think I’ll print this blog post and leave it laying around in the apartment! 😀

  3. Sounds just like my house! I took a picture of my hubs clothes inches from the hamper and posted it on Face Book hoping it would shame him, it didn’t. Good luck and let me know if you figure out what the hell will make them put their shit where it belongs!

    • Apparently writing a blog and sharing it with the world helps. My husband reads my blog posts and since I wrote this he has been MUCH better. The two boys could still care less. 🙂

  4. Haha Love it! It is soooo true! It’s not like we make it hard to put their stuff away! 🙂

    • I know! We go out and buy hat racks, shoe racks, laundry baskets, toothbrush holders and yet all that stuff might as well be invisible to kids and spouses.

  5. I think my house would drive you crazy. 🙂

    • Oh no! I have learned that in the worst case scenario, a bottle of wine won’t clean your house, but it will help to make you not give a damn! 😉 Good luck!

  6. omg! i can relate! i couldn’t wait to move out of my parent’s house and go to college because all the boys were disgusting! i still can’t go visit my parents without wanting to clean!

    • I was lucky, I had a younger sister and a baby brother. My mom would have had a stroke if we had pulled some of the things my boys pull!

  7. Been there, done that. I’m ashamed to admit it, but sometimes I’m the slob! Thanks for linking up at the Get Inspired Weekend Blog Hop 🙂

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