You Know You Are Raising Boys When…

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You talk about a penis, or crackers, or nuts, or peanuts, or peckers at least once a day, sometimes twice.

You know what Pokemon, Yugi-o, Bakugan, Beyblades, and Skylanders are, AND can identify the main characters for each group.

You know where all the pink aisles are in a store and how to avoid them.

You are outside walking and pick up a stick and take it home because it will made a perfect plaything for your son.

 You have Legos in every room of the house, not because you want them there but because Legos manage to get in every nook and cranny imaginable.

 Your child hands you a slimy frog to hold for them while they run to the bathroom and you actually do it.

 You accept the fact that the boys’ bathroom will always smell like an outhouse no matter how often and thoroughly you clean it.

 You park your car in the driveway because there is so much sports equipment inside the garage there is no room to put a car in it.

 You don’t even bat an eye when you see your son and two other boys hop in a wagon at the top of a hill and roll down it uncontrollably.

 You have to tell your children to stop burping in each other’s face.

 You buy first aid supplies in bulk.

The doctor’s at the emergency room recognize you when you take your kid in to have yet another injury treated;  broken nose, stitches in the head, sprained wrist, etc.

 You walk into the yard and don’t even question why there is suddenly a three foot deep hole in the middle of the yard.

 You empty the pockets of a dirty pair of pants and pull out a dead worm.DSC00276

You hear clinking noises in the dryer and can pretty much identify if it is a Lego, a rock, or a metal Beyblade by the loudness of the clinking.

You tell your children to stop smelling each other’s butts during a farting contest.

You have no less that ten Nerf guns in the family room and darts behind the chairs, sofas, refrigerator and the TV.

 You have seen every super heroes movie ever made…some of them at least a dozen times. (Avengers, Spiderman 2 with Doc Oc, and X-men 2)

DCIM100SPORTYou have long winded conversations about who would win if Wolverine and Thor were to fight each other and if Wolverine’s claws are strong enough to cut through Thor’s hammer, or if Superman is stronger than the Hulk.

 Every time you are driving someone in the backseat of the car announces loudly that you just passed a Mustang GT, or a Corvette, or a Camaro, as well as the engine make, color, and whether it is a convertible or not.  Then the two boys in the backseat start arguing over who gets to lay claim to the car even though it obviously belongs to someone else.

 The deck is covered in piles of pinecones, acorns, rocks, sticks, and pine needles and you have been told multiple times not to touch it.

 You go grocery shopping on Sunday and by Wednesday all the food is gone except for the vegetables and the meat in the freezer.

Can you think of any more that I missed?  Feel free to add them below.

~Tina

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The Biggest Booger Ever

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Okay, I am not easily grossed out. I have been surrounded by small children for forever it seems. I have seen (and smelled)more than my fair share of barf, snot, poop, farts, and pee as an early elementary teacher and a mom. But today I may have met my match.

Thumper had a booger hanging out of his nose.  Okay, no biggie. You just grab a tissue and wipe it. Well, it wouldn’t wipe. It was dried and crusty and stuck. I told Thumper to blow his nose. No luck. Now
we marched to the bathroom for me to get a Q-tip and try to pull it out. The Q-tip managed to tug it out a little further but it was still stuck in there pretty good.

Finally I grabbed the tweezers, gripped it and pulled it out. The first words to leave both mine and my husband’s mouths, since he had came to see what Thumper was fussing about, were “Holy shit!” I will spare you the gory details but my husband actually told me to go put it on the kitchen scale and weigh it. Yes, it was big enough to have been weighed. Yuck!

What is the most disgusting thing you have even seen come out of your child?  Share if you dare!

Balls and Bats and Nut Cups Oh My!!

DCIM100SPORTWhen you live in the burbs it is all but demanded that your child play a sport as soon as they have their fifth birthday and are now eligible.  God forbid if you wait a few years or decide to change sports because now your child is “behind” the skill level of the other players on the team.  There are the traditional ones like baseball, soccer and karate, and then you have your more intensive ones like lacrosse, ice hockey and horseback riding.

For financial reasons I told my boys that hockey and horses were out.  I have friends with kids in hockey and they are paying about $6,000 a year for it, but then the kid’s team is being coached by Nick Lindstrom.  Plus, there is no way on earth I am going to get up and take my kid to the ice arena at 4:30 in the morning because that is the only way you can get ice time to practice.  Nope, sorry, not happening!  As for the horses, I love horses and have gone riding many times, but between two boys and one cat I already have enough poop to deal with, so no horse, thank you very much.

I love the way the little ones look in their big helmets.  It reminds me of bobble heads!

I love the way the little ones look in their big helmets. It reminds me of bobble heads!

Since the boys didn’t even know what lacrosse was that left baseball or soccer.  Well, two boys and six years in we are definitely a baseball family.  We have a closet filled with little league t-shirts and baseball caps to prove it.  Huskies (2 years), River Bandits, Cubbies, Scrappers, and now this year the little one started T-ball and plays for the Cardinals.

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AJ playing for the River Bandits

My husband is the team’s coach and once or twice a week I haul a big tote bag filled with snacks, a first aid kit, a small cooler with ice water, two collapsible chairs, a blanket for the chilly games, and an umbrella for shade on those 95 degree days with scorching sun to the field to watch Thumper play.

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Thumper’s very first nut cup.

This was a big year for my little one, not because he was finally playing on a baseball team, but because he finally got his first nut cup.  My husband took him shopping for this monumental event.  He called me from Dick’s Sporting Goods to consult with me whether he should purchase a small or a medium.  According to the packaging’s weight and height listing a small was required, but my husband being the proud papa that he is, was pretty sure our son was a bit bigger than the average five-year-old and that we really might need the medium.  I assured him that the small would be perfect, no matter how well hung he might think his progeny is.

Twenty minutes later my hubby and a very excited little boy came home.  My husband’s wallet was now significantly lighter than before he left but they brought home a new aluminum baseball bat, a dozen t-balls, a wampum stick, and two nut cups.

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Did my son pick up his new baseball bat?  Did he toss balls up and down?  Did he try to hit his brother with the wampum stick?  No, he grabbed the new nut cup, asked me to open it at once and insert the cup and then disappeared into his bedroom.  He came out a minute later wearing just his shirt and his nut cup and told his brother to go ahead and hit him in his “crackers.”  He had a smile a mile wide and was so dog gone proud that he had a nut cup.  Then he high fived his brother and his dad and ran out of the room.

Boys are goofy!  But I have learned to accept and even embrace the crazy, and snap lots of pictures to show my sons’ future girl friends.

I would love to hear some funny stories about your kids being goofy!  Please share below 🙂

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Take a Little Pride in Yourself…You Deserve It!

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The pajamas are really cute. I would wear these on a cold winter night lounging around the house, but I would never go shopping like this.

Last night I posted a picture on One Tired Working Mommy’s Facebook page showing middle aged women shopping and wearing footie pajamas.  I made the comment that even though I am a tired working mom I would never be so tired as to leave the house looking like that.  That post was seen by 24,342 people, liked by 369, and shared 27 times.  For One Tired Working Mommy that is actually some rather high numbers since I am still relatively new on Facebook and in the blogging world.

However, I was shocked by the comments I received from several people.  Instead of the typical LOL, ROFL, or whatever, I received some harsh criticism saying for me to shut up, stop being a hater, and several said they would be only to happy to leave the house wearing footie pajamas.  Many of the harsh comments came from guys and girls who were pretty young, say 17 to maybe 26 or so based on their pictures, but some were from older individuals.

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These ladies aren’t even wearing shoes.

I have never been called a “hater” before and I found myself pondering the situation.  Was I being mean spirited?  Was I wrong to think grown women should not go out in public, even to Wal-Mart, wearing an outfit like the one I put my five year old little boy to bed in each night?  I can honestly say I had no mean intentions when I made the post, I just really thought it was funny/weird.  Still, I take responsibility that I may have been out of line to have made that post.

A lot of girls said they saw nothing wrong with it, and many said they would do it too; one even went so far as to say she would have no problem wearing footie pajamas to the bar.  Seriously?  Footie pajamas to the bar?  Hope she isn’t looking to have a guy hit on her because if a girl wears footie pajamas to the bar the first thought most of the guys I know would be, “This chick is nuts.”  I realized something last night from the comments and that the world has changed in the last ten years or so.

When did the act of getting dressed become optional in our society?  When did pride in your personal appearance disappear?  I’m not talking about wearing Chanel or a pair of stilettos to the supermarket, but just basic clothing.  You know, a pair of pants that doesn’t show your butt crack or, god forbid, your vagina, a shirt that leaves a little something to the imagination, shoes, and undergarments!

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Seriously…put on some panties!!

I mean come on, if you are wearing a skirt that is less than an inch below you butt, why would you ever dream of leaving the house without a pair of panties on?  Better yet, why wear a skirt that is less than an inch below your butt?  No one wants to see your whoohoo all hanging out for goodness sake.ass 3

I also know what some people might be thinking, ‘Well maybe these people are too poor to be able to afford nice clothes.”  I don’t buy that argument.  If they had the five dollars to buy the fishnet shirt they are wearing over their totally exposed black bra, then they could have spent seven dollars at the local Wal-Mart and bought an actual shirt that covers their boobs, cellulite, and stomach.  In the picture I posted last night I saw women who had basically given up on themselves.

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There is nothing wrong with leaving a little something to the imagination.

Also, some ladies need to accept the fact that they have gained weight since they left high school.  If you are still wearing the clothes you bought ten years ago but have since gained 15, 20, or 30 pounds or more, you need to realize that your butt crack is going to show, your boobs will be popping out of your shirt, and your back fat will be sticking out over your bra.

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These pants stopped fitting this butt about 20 pounds ago.

I am not by any means a skinny person.  After two babies my stomach is never going to return to its original position without a surgical intervention.  I gained 60 pounds with my first and then 40 with my second.  But I have enough decency to not make the rest of the world look at it hanging out covered in shriveled up stretch marks.

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At my son’s Preschool Graduation wearing a dress I got for $9 from a clearance rack at JC Penny and $10 hypoallergenic earrings.

I also know how busy and tired most moms are.  I work full time and I have two boys who never run out of energy.  I cook dinner daily, pack 15 lunches a week, do 85% of the laundry in the house, and pretty much all the cleaning and shopping.  I am exhausted most days.  However, I still wake up fifteen minutes earlier than necessary so I can put on some make-up, fix my hair, and put on the clothes that I selected the night before.  Doing this is my way of saying that I am important enough to give a little TLC to myself, that no matter how busy I am I can still take a little pride in myself and my appearance.  Not to mention, I don’t want people looking at me like some white trash hoochie mama either.

People always talk about the mystique of French women, but really, is it that much of a mystery?  They take the time to look after themselves as well as their families.  Most French women don’t own closets full of clothes, just a few good pieces that they then toss a scarf over and a pair of earrings.  They brush their hair and put on some lipstick.  Being a lady is not that difficult or costly.  It just takes a bit of time and an attitude that says I am worth it.  Plus, there are even cute clothes to be acquired at Wal-Mart.  Here are just a couple of pics of what I think are nice clothes.  They may not work for everyone but they are pretty, and Wal-Mart sells plus size as well.

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I would love to know what others think.  Am I being a “hater” as I was called or am I right, that a person put forth at least a little effort.

Never Wake a Sleeping Child

Never Wake a Sleeping Child

I remember yelling at people for mowing the lawn during naptime. Once I even asked roofers who were working next door if they could take an hour break. A mother will do almost anything to save naptime.

Mommy’s Ready for Anything Purse

Mommy's Ready for Anything Purse

The movie One Fine Day, from 1996, is without a doubt one of my favorite movies.  Granted I have a lot of favorite movies, but this one would be in the top ten.  You have a handsome George Clooney, a drop dead gorgeous Michelle Pfeiffer, a couple of really cute kids, and some truly funny and adorable scenes.  But, even though George is great eye candy, and watching them struggle through the day was laugh out loud funny, what I really found myself paying attention to was that fabulous purse!

One Fine Day 3By fabulous I don’t mean fashionable.  It was just a big black shoulder  bag.  No, by fabulous I mean that bag had EVERYTHING!  No matter what mess her son created, no matter how many times her outfit got ruined; there was a solution to be found inside her purse.  I finished watching that movie and found myself thinking that when I became a mom I was going to have it all together just like her.  I was going to become the doomsday prepper of Parenting Mishaps 101, 102 and beyond.

Well, when I started having kids I fulfilled my statement that I would have the Michelle Pfeiffer purse of all purses.  I had an enormous bag filled with every possible thing you could think of and you know what?  After lugging it around for a month I threw my back out.  Seriously!  The truth is, carrying everything was just too much.  Still, at the time, I was a single working mom and I really did need to be organized and ready for life’s little mishaps.  That was when I realized that you could have everything you needed, just not in one single purse.

I cleared out a spot in my desk drawer to make way for headache meds, feminine products, nail files, nail clippers, snacks, a few make-up items and even a spare deodorant since I worked in a non-air conditioned school that soared to 95 degrees inside on really hot days.

I did the same for my car:  emergency outfit for me and my son, a spare diaper bag that I received from my shower stocked with diapers, wipes, and snacks that wouldn’t go bad in a hot car, trash bags to hold an outfit that suffered a “blow out” and even a towel to fold in half and lay in the car seat should a pee accident happen out on the road and the car seat got soaked.

A well stocked car and desk is great, but I still carry a purse that has just about everything for those times when you are no where near your car or desk.  I just learned to go mini on everything and decided what is the most important.  I still want to be ready for any emergency.

DCIM100SPORT The trick to this really is to get the right size purse.  You don’t want a monster sized bag, but it still needs to be just big enough to hold all your necessities.  About every four years I indulge in a mid-sized Coach purse from the outlet mall.  I tend to stick with the hobo designs because they allow more flexibility.DCIM100SPORT

The two biggest things in my bag are my wallet and my PAK.  I learned the hard way that large wallets require larger sized purses.  So I bought a small fold in half Coach wallet that I carried for 14 years until it finally fell apart.  A few years back I picked up a new fold in half style wallet.  The PAK is a recent discovery that I fell in love with.  I used to carry all these little sample sized items in my purse that would be just lying in the bottom and I would have to dig around and around looking for what I needed.  Now I just take out my PAK.

DCIM100SPORTIn the PAK is everything:  nail care, clothing fix ups, toothpaste, toothbrush, floss, Tide to go, scissors, tweezers, wet wipes, deodorant, breath spray, lotion, and tissues.  It came prefilled but as items run out or bottles empty I just refill them now with my own stuff.

DCIM100SPORTOther items you will find in my purse are my cell phone, Neosporin spray, eye drops, more tissues, a travel sized pack of Wet Ones, all my “store rewards” cards on an old key ring, Gum picks, a tiny hairbrush, ink pen and a mini flashlight.

Because my boys tend to get booboos where ever they go I also have a small first aid kit.  Years ago I purchased a travel sized first aid kit for the car and it came with this mini pack that I love.  It slips easily in a side pocket yet has everything you need:   assorted band-aids, allergy meds, anti-bacterial wipes, ointment, and Tylenol.

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DCIM100SPORTGrowing boys are always hungry.   I have learned to keep some granola bars or Cliff bars or just some kind of “bar” inside as well.  Also, I am a caffeine junkie who hates coffee so I keep Crystal Light Caffeinated travel packs on me at all times.  Just tear it open and dump it into my refillable water bottle that I never leave home without.

DCIM100SPORTAdd in some keys, sunglasses and a hair band for pulling back my hair on a hot day and I am just about ready to go.  It all fits pretty easily inside.

DCIM100SPORTFinally the last thing that goes in is another item I can’t live without.  My agenda!  Without that my entire life would fall apart.  I know a lot of people now do all their scheduling on their smart phones or electronic device but honestly, I need to be able to just scribble it down on the go and then look at an entire month at a time.  Plus every few days I compare my agenda to the enormous refrigerator family calendar to make sure every activity is present and accounted for.

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If you are looking for the perfect agenda I highly recommend the Erin Condren ones.  They are fabulous and you can customize it online.

So there you have it.  My life in a purse.  To help keep my purse organized and stop it from becoming a traveling toy bag I have purchased the boys their own back packs that we use when going out to various places.  Pottery Barn Kids has really cute preschool/kindergarten backpacks that are perfect for holding hot wheels, a ziplock storage bag filled with legos, a coloring book and some crayons, plus a lovie or two.

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That doesn’t mean I never get toys or sticky lollipops in my purse, I do, just not as often now that the boys have their own packs.

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