Three Guys Do Not Make for a Clean Bathroom


I dream of a clean bathroom that is all my own. A bathroom that is completely free of pee on the walls, pee on the floor, and pee on the toilet seat fills my imagination. I want to brush my teeth over a sink that isn’t caked daily in giant globs of bubble gum flavored toothpaste and puddles of blue foamy spit. I want to apply my make-up in a mirror that sparkles in the light, not one that is speckled with even more blue foamy toothpaste spit. I want to brush my own teeth over a sink that doesn’t have a ring of shaving cream and beard stuble in it.

Living in a house with one bathroom and three peckers is truly a nightmare. Yes, I should be grateful because somewhere in Africa there is a mother squating in the corner of a shanty, but I still can’t stop dreaming of my own bathroom.

The only thing worse than having to use this bathroom is having to clean it, especially since none of the mess is my own. I never leave dirty clothes in the bathroom floor. I never leave my used toothpaste in the sink, and after shaving my legs I always make sure that all, and I do mean all, of my leg hair is rinsed down the drain and never left for the next person to have to deal with.

Someday I will have my dream bathroom, and when I get it I plan to put a padlock on that sucker and no one but me will have the key!

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