You talk about a penis, or crackers, or nuts, or peanuts, or peckers at least once a day, sometimes twice.
You know where all the pink aisles are in a store and how to avoid them.
You are outside walking and pick up a stick and take it home because it will made a perfect plaything for your son.
You have Legos in every room of the house, not because you want them there but because Legos manage to get in every nook and cranny imaginable.
Your child hands you a slimy frog to hold for them while they run to the bathroom and you actually do it.
You accept the fact that the boys’ bathroom will always smell like an outhouse no matter how often and thoroughly you clean it.
You park your car in the driveway because there is so much sports equipment inside the garage there is no room to put a car in it.
You don’t even bat an eye when you see your son and two other boys hop in a wagon at the top of a hill and roll down it uncontrollably.
You have to tell your children to stop burping in each other’s face.
You buy first aid supplies in bulk.
The doctor’s at the emergency room recognize you when you take your kid in to have yet another injury treated; broken nose, stitches in the head, sprained wrist, etc.
You walk into the yard and don’t even question why there is suddenly a three foot deep hole in the middle of the yard.
You hear clinking noises in the dryer and can pretty much identify if it is a Lego, a rock, or a metal Beyblade by the loudness of the clinking.
You tell your children to stop smelling each other’s butts during a farting contest.
You have no less that ten Nerf guns in the family room and darts behind the chairs, sofas, refrigerator and the TV.
You have seen every super heroes movie ever made…some of them at least a dozen times. (Avengers, Spiderman 2 with Doc Oc, and X-men 2)
You have long winded conversations about who would win if Wolverine and Thor were to fight each other and if Wolverine’s claws are strong enough to cut through Thor’s hammer, or if Superman is stronger than the Hulk.
Every time you are driving someone in the backseat of the car announces loudly that you just passed a Mustang GT, or a Corvette, or a Camaro, as well as the engine make, color, and whether it is a convertible or not. Then the two boys in the backseat start arguing over who gets to lay claim to the car even though it obviously belongs to someone else.
The deck is covered in piles of pinecones, acorns, rocks, sticks, and pine needles and you have been told multiple times not to touch it.
You go grocery shopping on Sunday and by Wednesday all the food is gone except for the vegetables and the meat in the freezer.
Can you think of any more that I missed? Feel free to add them below.